Let no good deed go unpunished

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gnappi
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Let no good deed go unpunished

Unread post by gnappi » Sun Nov 24, 2019 6:04 am

A few years back I got a nice but well used Pacifica in a trade, essentially for free. At the time I was working and I mentioned the Pacifica to a summer intern we had and he said a friend had one and got to play it often. He wished his mom would let him spend some of his own money on one but no he was to save for college expenses the next year.

Well, a few days later I gave it to him and he was over the top about it.

The next year he went off to college and his sister worked that next summer for us and she did not know I was the person who gave it to him and mentioned that after he cleaned the git up he sold it for a few hundred bucks within days of getting it :-)
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shelly0624
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Re: Let no good deed go unpunished

Unread post by shelly0624 » Sun Nov 24, 2019 7:51 am

Oo-oo-oo. That's cringey. Maybe it's small consolation, but it's better to be a giver than an opportunist. But yeah, that would bite...
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YamahaUser
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Re: Let no good deed go unpunished

Unread post by YamahaUser » Sun Nov 24, 2019 11:12 am

gnappi wrote:
Sun Nov 24, 2019 6:04 am
[...]

The next year he went off to college and his sister worked that next summer for us and she did not know I was the person who gave it to him and mentioned that after he cleaned the git up he sold it for a few hundred bucks within days of getting it :-)
Yeah, that kind of stinks. Perhaps the situation will feel better if you could think of what he got for the guitar as adding to his college funds.

In the future, you might consider that a gift given without conditions is no longer yours, and the receiver has the right to do what he pleases with it, even if it's not what you expected. One way of having some control over such a gift is to make it understood the item is on "permanent loan" - that is, you won't ever ask back for the thing, but if the receiver no longer wants it, it's to be returned to you. If that should happen, you could always decide at the time whether you really want the item back or not.
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Saul
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Re: Let no good deed go unpunished

Unread post by Saul » Sun Nov 24, 2019 12:57 pm

First off, well done for giving the guitar to the guy. That was an very nice thing to do ((i))

What he did with it after you gave it to him is not really what it is about. It is the reason he gave for wanting one. That is why you took pity on him and gave away the guitar. It could have gone to someone who was genuinely interested in the guitar and would have used it to learn to play and so on. That is the frustrating part.

But "Giving" itself is an act of selflessness. If we have expectations of a return or an outcome then it is more a trade/transaction than a gift. I give you this if you do this with it. If you see what I mean?

I have lost count of how much I have given away over the years. I know for a fact that some people have simply sold things on but that is fine, they had a reason for doing so and if whatever they got from that transaction has brought them some happiness then I think that is a good result.

Think for a moment about how many Christmas presents will be returned to retailers this year? This is not because people don't appreciate the gift but is simply because it might be something they would never use or could never make use of.

I always feel far better about giving than receiving. If you can gift something to someone that helps them, makes them happy I think it is one of the most wonderful things you can do in life :)
Saul
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