"Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by Saul » Sat Oct 13, 2018 1:46 am

There have been endless cases of things being impossible, will never happen, humans won't survive in such situations and so on BUT we do. Travel to another star system is not possible right now with todays technology. That does not mean it won't be possible for future generations that develop faster, more efficient methods of propulsion and systems to let us survive in the hostile environments of deep space.

There is nothing impossible just the undiscovered ;)
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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by purcell » Sat Oct 13, 2018 2:09 am

There must be people for star flights.

A quick - complete change - the earth's atmosphere, gas composition, loss of water, one last nuclear war / World war 3!
Exceeding of the tipping point, with subsequent temperatures of 150/200 degrees celcius.
Even 50 degrees celcius are enough!

...and nothing lives here anymore!

All this can happen damn fast.

Who or what should fly to the stars - then?

Look at Venus! Almost as big as the earth!
Gravitation Venus 8,87 m/s² / Earth 9,81 m/s2 ! That´s ok for us?

VENUS Day length: 116d 18h ​​0m (One day! One rotation of Venus!) "What a long day!" :-) ... Sleeping 80 days?

By the way!
There is no reason at all to send people anywhere!
You know yourself, that in 50 years computers and robots will be better and more robust, than the "biological system HUMAN"!
Computers and robots that are 100,000 times more effective than humans!

But even the computers / robots need 40,000 years travel time to the nearest star system Alpha Centauri!
Nobody can change that!
Unless - someone bends the space (time) extremely - in the year 235675. 8O
The energy "to do" this is unimaginable!

As long as no one here knows what Dark Matter and Dark Energy is!
And besides, no one knows what an electron consists of ...nobody can fly anywhere!
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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by Saul » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:57 am

Just because something is not possible today doesn't mean it won't be possible in the future. I am quite sure if you asked someone at the beginning of the 19th century if man would ever reach the moon or have an orbiting space station they would have thought you were mad because it was simply "impossible"

People used to think it was "impossible" for humans to withstand the sorts of speed we rush around at today but it happened.

There without doubt countless problems to overcome in interstellar space travel but if there is one thing humans are good at it is overcoming obstacles. The physics says it is doable it is the engineering we need to figure out.
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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by parametric » Sat Oct 13, 2018 3:04 pm

I make no apologies for acquainting you all with what follows . . ..

It adds some perspective (albeit humourous) to ANY discussion on this topic (IMO)

Those of you not familiar with this story - I URGE to read the book OR track down the original Radio Dramatisations . . . . .

It's VERY "English" . . . . and © is of course Douglas Adams'
CAPTAIN:
What? Oh, well! What happened you see, was our planet was doomed.

ARTHUR:
Doomed?

CAPTAIN:
Oh yes. So what everyone thought was, well let’s pack the whole population in some sort of giant spaceship, you see, and go and settle on another planet!

ARTHUR:
You mean a less-doomed one?

CAPTAIN:
Oh precisely yes. So it was decided to build three ships, three Arks in space, anyway…where’s the soap? Ah! Thank you. Ah! So the idea was that into the first ship, the A Ship, would go all the brilliant leaders…

NUMBER ONE:
The scientists…

CAPTAIN:
Yes, the great artists, you know, all the achievers. And then, into the third ship, the C Ship, would go all the people who did the actual work; who made things and did things you see. And then in the B Ship -

NUMBER ONE:
That’s us.

CAPTAIN:
Yes. Would go everyone else, the middlemen you see. And so we were sent off first.

ARTHUR:
But what was wrong with your planet?

CAPTAIN:
Well it was doomed - as I said. Apparently it was going to crash into the sun. Or was it the moon that was going to crash into us?

NUMBER ONE:
No, no, I thought it was that the planet was more or less bound to be invaded by a gigantic swarm of twelve-foot piranha bees.

NUMBER TWO:
No, no, no. That’s not what I was told! My commanding officer swore blind that the entire planet was in emanate danger of being eaten by an enormous mutant star goat.

FORD:
Oh really, really?

NUMBER TWO:
Yes, but he was just hoping that the ship he was going in would be ready in time.

ARTHUR:
But they made sure that they sent all you lot off first anyway?

CAPTAIN:
Oh yes, everyone said, and very nicely I think -

NUMBER ONE:
Oh yes sir. Absolutely charming.

CAPTAIN:
That it was very important for moral to feel that they would be arriving on a planet where they could be sure of a good haircut and where the phones were clean.

FORD:
Oh yes! Well I- I can see that would be very important.

ARTHUR:
Can you?!

FORD:
[Now trying very hard not to laugh]Sh-shh Arthur. And er, the, the other ships followed on after you did they?

CAPTAIN:
Ah! Well, it’s funny you should mention that…

NUMBER TWO:
Yes, yes isn’t it?

NUMBER ONE:
Yes.

CAPTAIN:
Because curiously enough, we haven’t actually heard a peep out of them since we left

NUMBER ONE:
No.

CAPTAIN:
But they must be behind us somewhere.

FORD:
Unless, of course, they were eaten by the goat.

CAPTAIN:
Ah! Yes… the goat… Hmm, it’s a funny thing you know. Now that I’ve actually come to tell the story to someone else, I mean - doesn’t it strike you as odd Number One?

NUMBER ONE:
Well sir, er…

CAPTAIN:
Huh?

NUMBER ONE:
Ah…

CAPTAIN:
Ah…

NUMBER ONE:
Mmmh…

CAPTAIN:
Mmmh…

NUMBER ONE:
Oh…

CAPTAIN:
Oh…

FORD:
Well, I can see that you’ve got a lot of things you’re gonna want to talk about, so thanks for the drinks and if you could sort of drop us off and the nearest, convenient planet..?

CAPTAIN:
Ah well, that’s a little difficult you see because our trajectory- thingy, was preset before we left Golgafrincham.

FORD:
When are you gonna reach the planet you’re meant to be colonising?

CAPTAIN:
Oh, well we nearly there!… I think… yes. Any second now. Well it’s probably time I got out of the bath in fact. Ha ha. Oh… I don’t know though… why stop just when you’re enjoying it, you know I always say…

ARTHUR:
So we’re actually going to land in a minute?

CAPTAIN:
Well not, not, not so much land in fact, I think as far as I can remember we’re programmed to, er crash on it.

ARTHUR and FORD:
”Crash”?

CAPTAIN:
Yes. It’s all part of the plan. … I think. There was terribly good reason for it which I can’t… quite… remember at the moment.

FORD:
[Yells in exasperation] You’re a load of useless, bloody loonies!!

CAPTAIN:
Ah, yes, that was it, that was reason it was. Ha. Pass me the loofah will you?

[The ship crash lands]

NARRATOR:
’The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ has this to say about the planet of Golgafrincham: It is a planet with an ancient and mysterious history, in which the most mysterious figures of all are, without doubt, those of the Great Circling poets of Arium. These Circling Poets used to live in remote mountain passes where they would lie and wait for small bands of unwary travellers, circle round them, and throw rocks at them. And when the travellers cried out saying ‘why didn’t they go away and get on with writing some poems instead of pestering people with all this rock-throwing business,’ they would suddenly break off and sing them an incredibly long and beautiful song - in which they told of how there once went forth, from the City of Vassillian, a party of five sage princes with four horses. The first part of the song tells how these five sage princes - who are, of course, brave, noble, and wise - travel widely in distant lands, fight giant ogres, pursue exotic philosophies, take tea with weird gods, and rescue beautiful monsters from ravening princesses, before finally announcing that they have achieved enlightenment and that their wanderings are therefore accomplished. The second, and much longer part, tells of all their bickerings about which one of them is going to have to walk back. It was, of course, a descendent of these eccentric poets who invented this curious tale of impending doom which enabled the people of Golgafrincham to rid themselves of an entire useless third of their population. The other two-thirds, of course, stayed at home and lived full, rich, and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone. Meanwhile, Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, and an Ark-load of frozen middle management men have crashed into the prehistoric dawn of a small, blue-green planet circling an unregarded yellow sun at the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral Arm of the Galaxy. After a year or so they convene a meeting to consider their position, which is not, on the whole, good…


Scene 7. Ext. Prehistoric Planet

FORD:
You don’t seem to understand…

MAN IN CROWD:
No, no, no I just -

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
It’s a simple matter! It’s a procedural matter! That’s the point!

CAPTAIN:
Alright, alright, alright, alright!

CHAIRMAN:
I’d like to call this meeting to some sort of order, if that is at all possible.

CROWD MEMBER:
Care for a light drink sir?

CHAIRMAN:
Uh, not now love…

FORD:
Look! C’mon please! I mean everybody! there is some important news: we’ve made a discovery.

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Is it on the agenda?

FORD:
Oh don’t give me that!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Well I’m sorry, but speaking as a fully trained management consultant I must insist on the importance of observing the committee structure.

CROWD MEMBERS:
Yeah, yeah, yeah!.

FORD:
On a prehistoric planet!?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Address the chair.

CROWD MEMBERS:
Yes.

FORD:
There isn’t a chair! There’s only a rock!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Well, call it a chair.

FORD:
Why not call it a rock?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
You - you obviously have no conception of modern business methods…

FORD:
And you have no conception of where the hell you are -

MARKETING GIRL:
Oh look shut up you two, just shut up! I want to table a motion. Guy: Boulder a motion you mean…

FORD:
Tha-Thank you I think I’ve made that point! Now listen! Someone: Order, Order!

FORD:
Oh God!

CHAIRMAN:
Listen! I would like to call to order the five-hundred-and-seventy-third meeting of the colonization committee of the planet of Fintlewoodlewix. And furthermore -

FORD:
Oh this is futile! Five-hundred-and-seventy-three committee meetings and you haven’t even discovered fire yet!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
If you would care to look at the agenda sheet -

GUY:
Agenda rock, yes…

FORD:
Oh, go on back home or something will ya?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
…you will see that we are about to have a report from the hairdressers fire development subcommittee today.

HAIRDRESSER:
That’s me.

FORD:
Yeah well you know what they’ve done don’t you? You gave them a couple of sticks and they’ve gone and developed them in to a pair of bloody scissors!


MARKETING GIRL:
When you have been in marketing as long as I have, you’ll know that before any new product can be developed, it has to be properly researched. I mean yes, yes we’ve got to find out what people want from fire, I mean how do they relate to it, the image -

FORD:
Oh, stick it up your nose.

MARKETING GIRL:
Yes which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know, I mean do people want fire that can be fitted nasally.

CHAIRMAN:
Yes, and, and, and the wheel. What about this wheel thingy? Sounds a terribly interesting project to me.

MARKETING GIRL:
Er, yeah, well we’re having a little, er, difficulty here…

FORD:
Difficulty?! It’s the single simplest machine in the entire universe!

MARKETING GIRL:
Well alright mister wise guy, if you’re so clever you tell us what colour it should be!


FORD:
Oh Mighty Zarquon! Has no-one done anything?

MARKETING GIRL:
And of course Finlon the producer has rescued a camera from the wreckage of the ship and is making a fascinating documentary on the indigenous cavemen of the area.

FORD:
Oh yes, and they’re dying out, have you noticed that?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Yes we must make a note sir to stop selling them life insurance.

FORD:
But don’t you understand? Just since we’ve arrived they’ve started dying out.

MARKETING GIRL:
Yes! Yes! And this comes over terribly well in the film that he’s making. I gather that he wants to, eh, make a documentary about you next captain.

CAPTAIN:
What? Oh. Oh really? That’s awfully nice.

MARKETING GIRL:
Oh, he’s got a very strong angle on it: you know the burden of responsibility, the loneliness of command…

CAPTAIN:
Ah well I wouldn’t overstress that angle you know, I mean one’s never alone with a rubber duck…

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Er, sir, er, skipper?

CAPTAIN:
Want a squeeze, eh?

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Um listen, if we could, er, for a moment move on to the subject of fiscal policy -

FORD:
”Fiscal Policy”?!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Yes.

FORD:
How can you have money if none of you actually produce anything? It doesn’t grow on trees you know!

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
You know If you would allow me to continue!

CAPTAIN:
Yes let him to continue.

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt leaves as legal tender, we have, of course all become immensely rich.

FORD:
No really? Really?

CROWD MEMBERS:
Yes, very good move…

MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT:
But, we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability. Which means that I gather the current going rate has something like three major deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut. So, um, in order to obviate this problem and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on an extensive defoliation campaign, and um, burn down all the forests. I think that’s a sensible move don’t you?

MARKETING GIRL:
That makes economic sense.

[Murmurs of agreement from crowd]

FORD:
[Yells] You’re absolutely barmy! You’ve a bunch of raving nutters!

MARKETING GIRL:
Well is it - perhaps - in order to inquire what you have been doing all this time, huh?

CROWD MEMBERS:
Yes!

MARKETING GIRL:
Yes, you and that other interloper have been missing for months.

FORD:
Well, with respect love, we have been travelling around trying to find out about this planet.

MARKETING GIRL:
Well, that doesn’t sound very productive. I mean I’ve looked -

FORD:
Well I have got news, I have got news for you. It doesn’t matter a pair feted dingo’s kidneys what you all choose to do from now on. Burn down the forests, anything. It won’t make a scrap of difference. Two-million years you’ve got, and that’s it. At the end of that, your race will be dead, gone, and good-riddance to you. Remember that. Two. Million. Years.

CAPTAIN:
Ah. It’s time for another bath. Hmph. Pass me the sponge somebody will you?


Scene 8. Ext. Clearing on Prehistoric Planet

ARTHUR:
No. ‘Q’ scores ten you see? And it’s on a ‘Triple Word Score’, so -

CAVEMAN:
Ugh, Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!

ARTHUR:
I’m sorry, but I explained the rules!

CAVEMAN:
Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh!

ARTHUR:
No! No! Look, please put down that jawbone!

CAVEMAN:
Ugh, mmh, mmh.

ARTHUR:
All right, we’ll start again. Now try to concentrate this time.

CAVEMAN:
Ugh.

FORD:
Oh what are you doing Arthur?

ARTHUR:
Trying to teach the caveman to play ‘Scrabble’. It’s uphill work. The only word they know is “grunt” and they can’t spell it.

FORD:
And would you please tell me what that is supposed to achieve?

ARTHUR:
We’ve got to encourage them to evolve Ford! Can you imagine what a world is going to be like that descends from those cretins over there?!

FORD:
We don’t have to imagine. Let’s face it, we already know what it’s like. We’ve seen it. There’s no escape.

ARTHUR:
Did you tell them what we discovered?

FORD:
Slartibartfast’s signature on the glacier? No. W- what’s the point? Why should they listen? What’s it to them that this place happens to be called the Earth?

ARTHUR:
And that it happens to be my original home!

FORD:
Yeah but you won’t even be born for nearly two-million years! So they’re likely to feel that it’s not a lot of your business. I mean, face up to it Arthur, those zeebs over there are your ancestors, not these cavemen. Put the ‘Scrabble’ away, it won’t save the Human race, because Mr. Ugh here is not destined to be the human race. The human race is currently sitting ‘round that rock over there, making documentaries about themselves.

ARTHUR:
But there must be something we can do!

FORD:
No! Nothing. Really, nothing! Because it’s all been done. I mean listen, we’ve been backwards and forwards through time and ended up here: two-million years behind where we started. But that doesn’t change the future, because we’ve seen it! I mean wise up kid, there’s nothing you can do to change it because it’s already happened.

ARTHUR:
And all because we arrived here with the Golgafrinchams in their B Ark?

FORD:
Yes.

CAVEMAN:
Ugh-um

ARTHUR:
Poor bloody caveman. It’s all been a bit of a waste of time for you, hasn’t it?

CAVEMAN:
Ugh.

ARTHUR:
You’ve been out-evolved by a telephone sanitizer.

CAVEMAN:
Abh, Ugh, uh, ugh, umph.

FORD:
He’s pointing to the ‘Scrabble’ board.

ARTHUR:
Pointing to the ‘Scrabble’ board… Well he’s probably spelled “library” with one “R” again, poor bastard.

FORD:
No he hasn’t!

ARTHUR:
Hey, no, look! It says “forty-two”. The experiment! It’s something to do with the computer program to find the Ultimate Question!!

FORD:
Hey! You know what this means, don’t you?

ARTHUR:
What?

FORD:
It must’ve gone wrong! If the computer matrix was set of to follow the evolution of the human race through from the cavemen, and then we’ve arrived and caused them to die out…

ARTHUR:
And actually replaced them…

FORD:
…then the whole thing is cocked up.

ARTHUR:
So whatever it was that Marvin spotted in my brainwave patterns is, in fact, the wrong question!

FORD:
Yeah! Well, it might be right, but it’s probably wrong. Ah, if only we could find out what it is…!

ARTHUR:
Look, if it’s printed in my brainwave patterns but I don’t know how to reach it - suppose we introduce some random element which can be shaped by that pattern!

FORD:
Like?

ARTHUR:
Pulling out letters from the ‘Scrabble’ bag!

FORD:
Brilliant! That’s bloody brilliant!

ARTHUR:
Right.

FORD:
Right.

ARTHUR:
First four letters…

FORD:
”W. H. A. T.” What.

ARTHUR:
Go on…

FORD:
”D. O.” Do. It’s working! Hey this is terrific! It’s really coming! “You get”… what do you get…

ARTHUR:
More here!

FORD:
…”if…you…mul- multiply” - oh, I’m beginning to get sinking feelings about this…”if you multiply six by, by… by nine”. By Nine? Is that it?!

ARTHUR:
That’s it. Six by nine…forty-two! I always said there was something fundamentally wrong about the universe!

FORD:
Hmmm.

ARTHUR:
So what do we do now?

FORD:
I guess we just swallow our pride and go and join the human race.

ARTHUR:
Yes.

CAVEMAN:
[Grunts]

FORD:
Right.

CAVEMAN:
[Grunts]

ARTHUR:
It’s sad though, just at the moment it’s a very beautiful planet.

FORD:
It is. It is indeed. The rich primal greens… the river snaking off into the distance… the burning trees…

ARTHUR:
And in two million years: bang! It gets destroyed by the Vogons. What a life for a young planet to look forward to!

FORD:
Well - better than some. I read of one planet off in the seventh dimension that got used as a ball in a game of Intergalactic Bar Billards. Got putted straight into a black hole, killed ten-billion people.

ARTHUR:
Hmm. Total madness.

FORD:
Yeah! Only scored thirty points too.

ARTHUR:
Where did you read that?

FORD:
Hmm, a book.

ARTHUR:
Which book was that?

FORD:
’The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’…

ARTHUR:
Oh that thing….

[Music: ‘What a Wonderful World’ by Louis Armstrong]

ANNOUNCER:
In the last episode of ’The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’, Peter Jones was The Book. Simon Jones played Arthur Dent, and Geoffrey McGivern, Ford Prefect. Mark Wing-Davey was Zaphod Beeblebrox; Susan Sheridan, Trillian; Stephen Moore, Marvin; Beth Porter, Marketing Girl; Jonathan Cecil, Number One and Management Consultant; David Jason, Captain and Caveman; and Aubrey Woods, Number Two and the Hairdresser. The program was written by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd, and produced by Geoffrey Perkins, with the technical assistance of Alick Hale Munro and Paul Hoyden, and Harry Parker and Dick Mills of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop.

TX:
BBC Radio 4:
12th April 1978
Great stuff (IMO) - helps to prevent us getting too far up our own orifices with our own "cleverness", don't you think . . ?

Nevertheless - our destiny still remains a problem that needs addressing (eventually) :lol:

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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by Derek » Sat Oct 13, 2018 5:03 pm

Yes, don't be too clever or a smart-ass; beware what happened to the inventor of the infinite improbability drive.....
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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by parametric » Sat Oct 13, 2018 5:14 pm

"An invisible DOT on an invisible DOT" - by any chance, Derek . . . . :lol:

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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by Derek » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:53 pm

Not that I remember. A former colleague brought me down to size once in the 90s when I was being a smart-ass over something, when he said to me "beware what happened to the inventor of the infinite improbability drive". I had to read the book to remind myself what happened.....

The inventor of the infinite improbability drive was a university janitor who got the failed infinite improbability drive experiment working when all the academics couldn't, because he came along late one night, looked at it, and decided that it needed a "Brownian motion generator" to get things going (viz, a nice strong cup of tea). He got it working, but crowed about it so much that he got lynched by the academics, because "nobody likes a smart-ass"

Douglas Adams was a genius observer of the human condition.
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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by parametric » Sun Oct 14, 2018 1:07 am

That's the very one Derek . . .

Douglas was a genius . . . not just the extent of his imagination, but the ability to construct a Plausible (To Me) Reality

around it, that then fires-up YOUR imagination . . . .

It took hold in a serious way - with the anecdotes spilling out EVERYWHERE . . . .

You have to love the Man . . . ((i))

For me, the Radio shows were the pinnacle . . . (I have them all) The TV version? -

Fun, but not what you'd (already) imagined. (i.e. I already knew what Marvin looked like and it was NOT the TV depiction)

Chris
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Re: "Happy" Sojus MS-10 Emergency

Unread post by Derek » Sun Oct 14, 2018 12:37 pm

I've only ever partaken in the TV Version when I was 15 or 16, along with the odd repeat of it since then but probably not for 20 odd years now, and of course the books.

The funny thing, compared to all the crap that does get repeated, or endless repeats of the same good stuff, which diminishes it, you rarely see this.
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Derek Cook

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